myrtana news 2022: bad year

I think it is time to finally write a retrospective about myrtana in year 2022 to get it off my chest.

When I look back, 2022 was one of the bad years. Both content wise and code wise. I did a big refactoring in the first half of a year, removed the Rails primary database (sqlite), because fucking active storage cannot use secondary (postgres) to store data. Sqlite was there from the time myrtana didn’t really use database to store content, only accesses. Everything was loaded from files on each request. Now the content is still stored as files, because I cannot be bothered to do double direct data synchronization just yet. I just refuse to do it, bacause I would lose data at some point in time and I’m just tired of that. The second half of a year…I implemented basic antispam for comments, but the management is not yet finished. Frankly - I have the roadmap and this is far from complete.

About the content - not many this year, only 70 new or updated. I have a monumental creative block and I’ll tell you why.

The fear. I absolutely have to stay informed about Ukraine-Russian war, because Ukraine is a neighbouring country. I had to understand why and what are the chances crazy Russians go even more insane and send nukes or dystopic collective West would fuck us over. Russia, Ukraine, West….we are all one big psycho family. Thanks to this I keep an escape backpack.

Frankly after spending unhealthy amount of time reading stuff about corona and then the war for tree years I realized many people are just dumb or self delusional driven by fear or greed. And what is the conclusion? I don’t know….there is no happy end. Was it worth it? I don’t know. I just did it, because I felt I need to…at any cost. It is how it is and I would do it again even if it was not pleasant and knew it wouldn’t be pleasant.

The times are changing and the world events are accelerating rapidly. I personally feel we have like 3 years to change our course as a civilization or we will see something very unpleasant - the darker we are the worse it will be. Many mighty empires and kingdoms rose and fell in the past, why would we be an exception. Technology? Knowledge? Technology makes it all faster. Knowledge is not wisdom. Needs to be used properly.

From my point of view the planet is alive and we are part of her and the part of the system and she is not a dead mechanical system or naive dumbfuck who allows anything. In the books one can find out why. We were given extra time because of love, even if the choice is to keep destroying her. But that won’t last forever.

I just hate to see currently we seem to condemn ourselves as a society to just consume things and watch the world burn. Also it seems one day we will wake up in some kind of dystopian digital slavery where what you want does not matter anymore and the position of a human is an energy source.

But even in these times I remain optimistic deep down. I just wished I could find a way to show it more to the world and in articles.

And what are plans in 2023? Good question. Currently I kind of lost the vision and energy. I plan to take mental vacation for a month since tomorrow. I spent years trying to find a way to unstress myself for longer periods and not only for a couple of days per year. I don’t even know if it will work this time. So many…doubts. But I feel a potential it could work this time. Originally I wanted to unstress in 2020, it was an ideal time and yet….my mind, my feelings…couldn’t do it.

For the last few days I wanted to leave everything and leave…..just walk somewhere….as long as it is far from here. Unfortunately one can escape outer world…..but the inner world….that is a different chapter.

My goal is still the same here - to see the beauty inside or outside and to bring it here.