Surfing the Web (I am a subscribe junkie)

I don’t know if I know too much…

I feel disconnected from the world, from myself when I accept the modern way to consume internet. Following, subscribtions, “stalking”. Useful things for sure, but not for me as a stable part of my life.

It chokes me, chokes my creative side and my emotional part.

The whole thing like become content creator, slave off the ass for a couple of months to two years, get followers and then somehow win by getting paid by sponsors (product placement) and ad revenue seems weird to me.

Of course there is a desire from these content creators to share their creations or style of life with the world and sustain themselves from the financial side. But I don’t know, you need fanbase of 200 people at least to break even.

It is how it is, but I don’t believe the current model is the right one. Ads and sponsorship seem to be really unchained. Without ad blocker you’re totally fucked on YouTube and you will start salivating from low inteligence and overloaded brain caused by stupid ads after a week.

All this became fight for freedom to me. I don’t have to hold a gun or fight anybody specific physically. This fight is mental one. Fight against something so complex I can’t see details or the structure. Which frightens me, fight agaist something unknown.

I guess it’s not a typical fight or war, more like a struggle to define own values. Values and life which I will consider true.

I like to hunt, surf and explore much more than consume. Every channel I was subscribed to became sour and mundane in few weeks. I have no problem with supporting channels and people financially, but I just don’t stick around in the long term. I know I’m not ideal patron for people. But I don’t really care anymore. I help how I can from my position.